Future Conversations with the Monkey Monkey

I was thinking this morning about being a teenager and a young adult and all the 'life experiences' I had through this time....possibly brought on by Mrs Woog's posts and blog about alcoholic beverages of choice in your teens.....sub zeros, Bombora and Wipeout all got a mention and got me all nostalgic for my 'escapades' as a 15-18 year old.

But it also got me thinking about all the other things I did when I was a little bit younger: things I was glad I had done, things that may not have been fun at the time but taught me something, gave me some understanding for a different life or a different world, or just plain taught me the things I should avoid at all costs in the future.

And THAT got me thinking about the type of advice I might give my own kids one day.....in particular, one little boy who is currently rolling around in my tummy weighing about 600grams....

So, in no particular order, these are a few things I would suggest/encourage the 'Monkey Monkey' (as he is affectionately known) to do at some point....well, maybe some of them I might not suggest or encourage but just hope he gets the experience without me having to know about it.....

* Live in a Share House. There are so many good things about this and a few bad things but you learn a lot about yourself and about living with others that you dont nessecarily learn when you live at home. And you can make some amazing friends if you choose to live with people you havent met before.

* Work in Customer Service. Retail, Hospitality, Call Centres, these can be Hell to work in, but working in them can give you an appreciation of why store clerks are so moody sometimes, and also of when you know someone is doing everything they can to help you but just.cant. AND you can then rule it out as a career choice (if of course, you want to rule it out!)

* Experience a Relationship Breakup. Relationship breakups are hell and they suck and can be really horrible, but again you learn a lot about yourself and often about the person you are breaking up with. That might mean you realise you are meant to be together, or maybe not. Usually not. And you can learn how strong you really are and also how many people care about you and are there when you can't get yourself up on your own.

* Get so drunk that you never, EVER want to drink again. For some people that might mean having 4 West Coast Coolers, dancing on a table and showing your knickers to strangers, for others that might mean drinking so much you end up in hospital with liver damage. Hopefully it doesnt come to that. Either way, its about learning your limits.

* Go on an overseas holiday WITHOUT your family. Our little monkey will have ample chance to travel overseas with us, since half his family live in the UK! But travelling with friends or a partner is a totally different experience. And travelling in general is definitely going to be encouraged in our house!

When I posed this question on facebook, travel came up a few times (including via student exchange, something I wish I had done myself!) but a few more general comments came up as well.

My gorgeous friend Candice at Measuring Out My Life With Coffee Spoons made the comment:

"I always come back to advice about making decisions that are right for you rather than what other people says is right for you. And about making your own mistakes."

I think this sums up a huge part of what I want for my little monkey. To make his own mistakes and not to regret them, to learn from them and move on. And for him to take any opportunities that he wants to take and to do so with gusto.

What experiences would you want your kids to go through, to shape the people they become? What experiences that you had as a teen and young adult do you think shaped you as a person? And is there anything you wish you'd done that you chose not to or never got the chance to do?

(Mine is going to Japan to teach English - I had the opportunity but my boyfriend at the time didn't get accepted so I didnt go without him. But even with that I can't regret it as I may not have moved to Sydney and met the Englishman later on.......)

27 Dresses......well....5 so far!!!

Sooooo I've been a bridesmaid 5 times in the last.....4 years or so. Since my younger sister tied the knot in September 2008, I've put on a pretty dress, fancy shoes, got my hair and makeup done, carried flowers down the aisle, fixed dresses and makeup, got drinks, given hugs, organised photos, created Hen's nights and weekends as well as bridal showers, played Toilet Paper Bride more times than I care to mention....and generally been a bridesmaid what feels like many, many times.

After I was bridesmaid to 3 very close friends within 5 weeks of each other (actually, before the actual weddings even happened!) I told all my other friends 'No more, sorry.' Being a bridesmaid can be stressful, is generally expensive, and takes a lot of time and energy! Not to mention, when all you see around you is people getting married, you really start to think that you want that, too. And it can mess with your head :-S (but thats another story)

This meant that friends I think may have asked me, couldnt. Which was tough. But some of them found other ways to include me, such as doing a reading at their wedding (which I loved!)

Since it's been a while since I last blogged, I though I would make this one a bit longer, and I figured out how to add photos (although they're in the opposite order I wanted - I'll remember that next time!)....so here are the dresses I've worn as a bridesmaid so far.....



FEBRUARY 2011 - Little Sister's Wedding
So, I have 2 little sisters, and in February this year, the youngest one tied the knot with her Defence Force Man. It was a military wedding, with a guard of honour, men in uniform, and lots of fun! There were 3 bridesmaids, Little Sister L's BFF M, myself, and our Middle Sister J. All our dresses were the same colour and fabric but different styles, to suit each of us. I opted for a more straight across bust than the other girls and it was one of my more favorite BM dresses to wear!


APRIL 2009 - C and D's Wedding
My Girlfriend C, who has her own blog (http://superluminous.wordpress.com/) and inspires me to get back on here all the time, married her perfect match D in April 2009,...... almost 2 years ago now!
Her bridesmaids were her BFF A, myself, and E, who are all really close friends ourselves. We all went shopping together for these dresses and tried to pick something that fitted C's idea for her wedding, but that we were all happy and comfortable with as well.
I wore this dress a few times afterwards, but after a while I knew I wouldnt wear it again, and wanted it to go to a good home. Sooooo......I sold it on ebay. It was such gorgeous material, and such an unusual colour (my Englishman wore a blue and brown tie to match rather than purple or grey). I'll always think of that dress with warm memories.


MARCH 2009 - Wedding of the ex-friend....
This photo is not from the wedding (I can't find the photos and I'm positive I wouldnt have deleted them out of spite!)....but I was maid of honour to a girl who was a good friend, in fact I would have said my best friend at that time. Things changed last year and we're no longer friends (but thats another story!).....but this is the dress I wore for her wedding. It was custom made, boned and fitted. This was the most expensive bridesmaid dress I ever had to pay for! It did fit well, but unfortunately, it just looked like a bridesmaid dress. I wore it in this photo to another wedding 2 or 3 weeks later as I just simply couldnt afford to go and buy any other dresses,.....ex-friend's wedding was the week before C and D's wedding and a month after my friend Miss A......

FEBRUARY 2009 - Miss A's Wedding

This wedding was SO MUCH FUN!!!! Miss A is a long-time friend and I was so excited when she asked me to be a bridesmaid for her. Our dresses were very different to all the other BM dresses I've worn- Miss A had a vision but had bought this gorgeous Thai Silk to make the dresses, which I think limited the options for how our dresses would turn out......... and while the dresses turned out differently to her vision, she was really happy with them (I think!) and they really fitted with the rest of the wedding (which was stunningly over the top - diamantes, feathers and frills everywhere!)
I haven't worn this dress again but I had such a brilliant time in it on the night, and it was so much cheaper than most of my other dresses, that it didnt matter. This photo is me with the other 2 BMs, who were such fun fun girls. We had an awesome day!

SEPTEMBER 2008- Middle sister J's Wedding

I have 2 little sisters, and when the middle sister J got engaged to her man J (I like to call them J Squared...haha), she asked Little Sister L and myself to be bridesmaids, along with her BFF G. She expressed a wish for black BM dresses and one weekend when I was in town, the 3 of us went to look at one she had picked out. L and I tried it on and approved, and J said "great, I'll get G to come in with me one day and if she likes it we'll get them."

Just as we were walking out of the shop, G and her man M walked in - perfect timing! G tried the dress on and we bought them on the spot.

This dress has been my cheapest BM dress so far and the one I've worn the most. I had it hemmed from below the knees to just above, and I've worn it a number of times to the Races and other weddings. It's colour helps - black never goes out of style - and it fits so nicely!

I have one more scheduled set of BM duties in October this year - my Englishman's little sister S has asked me to be a BM for her and I am so honoured. She called me the day she found our dresses and has had mine sent to me! I feel so lucky to be included in the family in such a way as S, my Englishman, their parents and S's man D are such beautiful people.

I've been lucky that none of my dresses has been hideous, they've all been different in colour or shape, and (apart from one) I've been able to avoid the worst of bridezilla behaviours.

I can only hope, when its my turn to pick bridesmaids, that I can do as good a job as my beautiful friends did of being gracious and considerate.

Being a bridesmaid was a little stressful at times but gosh it was fun!