Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Spiders - Things my Englishman has taught me #2

In England, spiders can't kill you.

In Australia, spiders are more likely to kill you than not. Or at least make you really sick if they bite you. Or really, really hurt.

AND they're a lot bigger here. And hairier. And you find them in your house, not just in the garden.

My Englishman was in the kitchen cooking this evening when I suddenly heard a yell (we won't call it a scream because, to be fair, it wasn't) and then a voice saying "You barstard!! You little barstard!!" and a little laugh, I'm assuming because he was in shock.

There was a spider in the crockery cupboard!

Now I have no idea what type of spider it was - too small and thin to be a huntsman, not dark enough or short/squat enough for a redback or anything like that, and no white tail.....just a really average looking, brown, thin, long legged spider.

My Englishman says "Well what do I do with it?" I suggest, as its sitting in a small bowl, to get a piece of paper and put that over the top, to try and trap it. NO no, Englishman wants to open the window, then pick up the bowl and throw it out.....I tell him that won't work, and when he goes to pick up the bowl, of course, the spider runs away.

Still in the cupboard mind you.

Next, he tries 'getting' it with his knife. I think he got a couple of legs, and then couldnt get at it.
"Ahhh, itll die now,....right?"

"Um, no, spiders dont die when they lose a few legs. You need to kill it love, you can't just leave it in there."

At this point, my Englishman's answer is to close the door of the cupboard and pretend its not there.
Until he opens the door 5 minutes later and screams - "ARRGGHH! "

The spider is still there, and its moved.

Cupboard door gets closed again.

You'll notice that in all this, all I've done is told him what to do. That's because I'm not a fan of spiders either. I probably would have had a go if I was on my own, I certainly wouldnt have left the spider in the cupboard like that, but I'm tired and cold and not planning on getting in the cupboard for a day or two. So I dont really care.

So my lesson for today? I might need to deal with the spiders myself if I want them gone in the future.

And, Englishmen are not used to spiders.

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